Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
Randomize
