She's JV to your varsity
Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
