If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Randomize
