Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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