Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
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