I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
Randomize
