um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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