we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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