it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
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