And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Randomize
