Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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