hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
Randomize
