the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
