walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
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