Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
Randomize
