dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
