there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
Randomize
