how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
