Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Randomize
