I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
