Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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