too bad you live with your parents still
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
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