sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
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