I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize
