I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Randomize
