Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
These tits shall not be calmed
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