your parents love me but you hate me
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
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