Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Randomize
