WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
Randomize
