Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
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