Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Randomize
