We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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