arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Randomize
