I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
