i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
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