i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
Randomize
