Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
Randomize
