R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
