You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
Randomize
