you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
