I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
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