Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
You are in my phone as "Thigh Gap" and you apparently work for "DO NOT DRUNK TEXT, INC." That is why I called you six times last night. So unless you take a second job at "NO DRUNK DIALING LLC" expect more. PS I am sober so this is legit.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
