I must be too annoying 4 u.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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