I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Why did my mother make you get naked?
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
Randomize
