This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Randomize
