She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
