yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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