Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Randomize
