he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
Randomize
