During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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