I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
whose parrot is this?
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
