Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
Randomize
